


Chasing Lacie

by Sarcastic_Cupcake



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, LGBTQ Character, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4801367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcastic_Cupcake/pseuds/Sarcastic_Cupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was killing her inside. She might as well come out; what did she have to lose? Oh, that's right. Only their tenuous friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Why am I not crying? I should be crying.

It's the end of the school year, I'm going to a different high school, and I'll probably never see my friends again. And I actually have some, which is a nice change. And I'm not crying. I'm just numb, like my mind hasn't realized that this is the end.

Lacie's surrounded by her friends. And crying. I'm not surprised; she is the most sensitive and caring person I've ever met. Another reason I'm crazy about her.

I smile ruefully. I know that I've gone off the deep end; what else would cause me to pine futilely after her? And yes, it is most certainly futile. I have exactly a 0.0001% chance of the love being mutual (I did the math). And yet I still wonder what would happen if, by some miracle, it did work out.

It won't. I know this because she likes my friend Michael. According to him, she's "been trying after me for 2 years. And I think she's finally finding some success." In other words, the very beginnings of a love triangle.

It's almost time to go. I can't help thinking that it's for the last time. I have to get in touch with her somehow. I gather my courage and walk up to her.

"Lacie, will you be on Hangouts later today?" I don't have a phone, like so many other teenagers. Most of the time, I'm fine with that, except for the fact that I can't text people. I've resorted to using Google Hangouts as a stand-in.

"Yes. I will be," is her warm response.

I smile and walk away, feeling inside as though I've just dug my own grave.

One of my friends asks me if I'm okay.

"Meh," I reply. "I could be better." Isn't that the truth…

"What's wrong?" He always knows when I'm down.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you on Hangouts."

"Oh, and by the way," he says. "You're going to high school up here."

  
It's not a question. He's been trying to convince me to do that for the past month. My answer is the same as always.

"We'll see." Inside, I wish that I could say yes. How I wish I could say yes.

I'm still not crying.


	2. Chapter 2

Delaying tactics aren't working. Well, they are, but they only delay the inevitable. Having a friend over took my mind off of the whole situation, but only until (as always) they had to leave. I played the piano (badly) for a little while, until I got bored.

And I'm back to stressing about how she'll take the news, and what to say, and other inconsequential things like that. Pacing is the only outlet for my nervous energy. Ah, screw it. I might as well just do it now; it's not like it'll get any easier.

After a bit of thought, I hit the "Send" button. As I do, I feel a sense of detachment. There's nothing I can do now except wait.

(Hey. I figured that since today was the last day of school, I might as well tell you this. I think that you're amazing. You're beautiful, gracious, caring, smart, creative, witty, confident, and just overall brilliant. In short, I'm crazy about you. Never stop being awesome.)

* * *

 

Actually, that's not true. There is one thing I can do. I can confide in someone else. That always makes things better, doesn't it?

Clicking into a new window, I open another chat box.

"O_O" I type. "She's not on Hangouts. I'm going to go cry now." He knows what's going on, so I'm confident that he'll be able to figure out what I'm talking about. I exaggerate (mostly for effect), and after a few minutes, Michael signs on.

"Wait, come baaack," he says. I grin weakly. It's nice to know that I'm not entirely alone. Michael is hardly ever on Hangouts, and because of that, I feel lucky to have caught him at a good time.

We met (where else?) at school. Assigned seating put us next to each other, and, with nothing else to do, we slowly became friends. He introduced me to Minecraft, and in return, I shared with him some music. From then on, we were (mostly) friends.

I am jolted back to the present by a "ding". With it comes a simple notification that makes my heart drop.

"Lacie says..."


	3. Chapter 3

I panic. I knew she said she was going to be on Hangouts, but I didn't think it would be this early! I'm not ready! I was hoping for more time to talk to Michael; he knows her much better than I do. Why did she have to sign on now? With a sense of dread, I click her chat box. My eyes widen, and a gasp escapes my lips.

"Awwwww :) Sweetheart, that made my day. The only problem is, that's what I was gonna say to you..."

She can't be serious. She _can't_ be _serious_. Did I read that correctly? I did. My brain isn't processing what she just wrote. Is this really happening?

"You really mean that?" I have to make sure.

With bated breath, I stare at the screen. Sixty never-ending seconds later, I get a reply.

"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I? You were a stunner when I first met you, in every way, and here you are, better than ever."

What even. She just called me a stunner. I'm not good at being tactful or interacting socially, but I'm pretty sure that being called a stunner isn't normally something that happens. Is she flirting with me? Maybe I'm just reading too much into this. Quickly, I switch tabs.

"Ow. She hit me right in the feels." I explain to Michael. He replies, ":0 So she's not straight? She's Bi?" I have no idea.

"I have no clue. I'm so confused right now." Michael is more level-headed. "She said you were a "stunner". I wouldn't call my male friends "stunners", as I am straight." True.

"Well, if it turns out she's into guys AND girls, let the love triangle race thingy begin!"

Of course he says that. Because things weren't already complicated enough. I might as well be even more brutally honest. I change tabs again.

"Here's another reason for me to love you. You're accepting of everyone. Here I was, with some stupid worry that you were going to be all judgmental, when really, there was no reason." I just flat-out said I loved her. There is no way to miss that. Just in case she somehow did earlier. Oh well. Again, there's nothing left to do but wait.

Three torturous minutes later, she responds. "You were astonishing in everything you did this year. I was only present for some of it, but holy cow, what I saw was amazing. You are one of the most dignified and poised people I have ever met, and being that makes you the accepting and loving person you are :)"

You have got to be kidding me right now. Did that one-in-a-million chance really work out? I need advice. At this point, I'm pretty sure it's not just wishful thinking. I click back to Michael's tab.

"Help, what does this even mean?" I ask frantically. His reply is unhelpful.

"Pretty sure it means I lose." It looks like I'm on my own for this. This is not a good thing at all.


	4. Chapter 4

I take a moment to think. As impossible as it is, I think this might actually have worked out in my favor. How did this even happen? As far as I knew, she liked Michael! In other words, was completely straight. And yet here she is, telling me that I'm astonishing. What am I supposed to say now? I never planned for this possibility…

I agonize over my response for another minute. Finally, I reply with this.

"I honestly have no idea what to say at this point. I never expected that it would work out like this; I guess all I can say is thank you..."

Almost immediately, she says "Neither do I... You're welcome, thank you."

Again, I change tabs. This time, it's because I have an idea.

"Is Lacie okay with insensitive questions?" I ask Michael. I won't stick my foot in my mouth needlessly.

"I don't ask those, but it doesn't mean she doesn't have a problem with them. She nearly asked me one, but cut off just as she was finishing and refused to finish the question," he says. Still not helping.

I could ask her directly, but…

Oh, whatever. It's worth a try.

"May I ask a question that will probably make the entire conversation awkward?" I ask her.

"Yes you may" is her quick answer.

Just to make sure, I ask "And you won't be insulted or weirded out?

"Probably not." What do I have to lose? I might as well say this; it's not like I can ask her out…

"Does that mean that you're bisexual?" I type, before I lose my nerve.

Expectantly, I wait for her answer.


	5. Chapter 5

Two excruciating minutes later, I get her response. When I read it, my heart skips a beat, then another.

"I am not. Why do you ask exactly?"

I sit stunned for what feels like an eternity with one thought running through my head - it was all going so well, too. What changed? Was I too abrupt? Too fast? Too honest?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is getting out of this mess. Because it is a mess. I toy with a few responses. "Because I was wondering if I could ask you out." No, too overt. "Because of all the things you said earlier." Too ambiguous and misunderstandable.

I don't know. I don't know. And I'm on my own; Michael's obviously going to be no help at all. Finally, I reply with "Because I was completely serious when I said that I was in love with you."

Why is she asking? I did tell her that, and there's pretty much no way to misinterpret those words.

I wait. And wait. And wait. Six minutes later, she says "I'm flattered, but yes, I'm completely straight."

Then what was the first twenty minutes of our conversation? I am positive that I didn't read too much into what she was saying earlier. You don't compliment people like that just out of the blue. Why did she send me so many mixed signals?

I have to say something. I will not let her think that I am mad at her. Even though I am mad. And confused. It's not her fault.

I tell Michael what happened. His reply makes me feel even worse. "I had thought so. . . How do you feel about Mary Mist-Cohn?"

He's trying to set me up with one of the only other lesbian girls in my grade. No empathizing, just "I told you so." Sometimes, I really hate him.

I shouldn't say that. I am honored to consider him my friend. He is a very nice person, and I don't know where I would be without him. But every once in a while, I am reminded that people aren't perfect.

"She's nice; why do you ask?" I know why he's asking. It's pretty obvious. But two can play his game.

"I theeeenk she's single. And yes, she is nice." Not helping. Really not helping.

I will not let Lacie think I am mad at her. What should I say? After a few minutes, I reply with "Okay. I was pretty sure that there was a 0% chance of this working out, but I'm glad I got to tell you this."

Not entirely true. I did a great job of making it sound like I knew this was coming. For the most part, I did, but I'm still sad about it.

I am startled out of my thoughts by her reply.

"I'm glad you did tell me this, and we can be friends, but that's as far as this can go."

Stung, I close my eyes and sigh. What have I done? I know that she doesn't like me back (she's made that pretty clear), but really? She didn't have to include that last part. Did she think I was going to ask her out or something? (I mean, I was, but not after she answered my question…)

This whole situation has just spiraled out of control. Crossly, I type, "That's fine with me."

Let her think I'm mad at her. I don't care any more.

"I apologize, but I have to go. I will talk to you later, okay?" Her reply is stiff and emotionless. And she has to go. Perfect timing, huh?

"Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

We don't stay in touch over the summer. I more or less expected that, but it still stings when I see that she hasn't read my messages from two months ago. But slowly, the ache lessens, and when I eventually see her in the halls at school, I hardly feel a thing. That is, of course, until she proceeds to completely and utterly ignore me. And that makes me realize that maybe she isn't all that nice. Or sensitive. Or sweet. Or caring. Or worth it.

* * *

The next day, when I see her in the halls at school, I feel nothing.


End file.
